Father

(A friend of mine who writes for the Samar Sunday Star, a weekly newspaper in Calbayog came up with an article in time for the Fathers' Day edition of the said paper. I thought it was just another piece about fathers, until I realized that it also had to do with fathers of a different kind - the ones who are supposed to care for our souls. Let me share with you that article.)

FATHER (by Eunice Ji*)

The month of June is here again. It is with great excitement that I enter into my world of grateful reminiscence once again every time we celebrate Father’s Day. Fond memories with the “great men of my life” always make me wish I am a little girl once more. As I wrote this I felt very emotional in praising God for giving me them. Ain’t I lucky?

It is very ironic though that at the very same time I also felt immeasurable sadness for the youth of today. Leo J. Trese, in his book MANY ARE ONE, exposed that “…in the primitive times, the father of the family was also the priest”. Eureka! I finally found the final piece to complete the puzzle I was so long trying to piece together to somehow find the answers to my innumerable whys – the causes of our ever increasing number of lost souls, both of this world and those in the other locations.

Like St. Thomas Moore, I think the most of us are also dreaming his dream for utopia. For who wouldn’t be? The killings that happened for the past few weeks are very disconcerting. It is a glaring truth that we have totally lost our reverence for life. I cry inside for every un-fateful eventuality, look up to the heavens and offer prayer, for that is all I can do. Literally, I sigh, where have all our fathers gone? What have they done when their kids were young? Where were they when their children needed them? What are they doing now? And I cry some more. Every time I feel the frustration I still shed tears of pain and loneliness maybe in realization that the dream will remain but a dream. What with the way things are.

As if this is not enough yet. The not-so-recent reshuffling of assignments (please correct me if I’m wrong) of our beloved priests in our most loved Diocese – in the words of Bishop Singzon, “the religiosity of the Calbayognon is second to none” – has stirred up and effected malicious controversy upon its flock and parishioners, as if adding insult to injury. Figuratively then, I ask, what happened to you “Fathers”? What is it in Theology that made you Theomaniacs? What exactly are you doing that for? Satisfy your hunger for money which you did not have, or had not enough of, when you were growing up because you associated it with power? How on earth can you make me believe what you preach when your actions do not make me? Aren’t you a little too confused maybe about service and income? In the words of my good friend: income in the guise of service? You are supposed to have stipend la because your chosen field is for the betterment and most especially salvation of the people’s soul – because it is what is eternal – you are not there for profit. Kaya nga po tinawag kayong Vicars for Christ, e.

Two (2) weeks ago, my dearest friend – a nun – sent me this text message: “it is not what we have but what we give; not what we say but how we live.” That is what service is all about, dear “Fathers”! “Without love, everything that we say is but an empty sound” (maski nano niyo pa kaupay magyinakan), according to Leo J. Trese, to which I add, and everything that we do is but a mere action. Only Love gives meaning to everything.

This nun-friend of mine, by the way, did not even finish college because when she was barely there, her heart was achingly longing to serve God through His people. So, off she went inside a nunnery despite objections from her father, since she is his only daughter.

What about you? What were your motives when you to entered priesthood? With all due respect, I need to ask you that because if I won’t, who will? Isn’t it about time you pay close and very serious attention to the thoughts of Carl Jung which said: “it is indeed high time for the clergy and the psychotherapists to join forces.”? Everybody needs to heal. No one is exempted. Nga sa akon personal la nga opinyon, ILABI NA GUD KAMO, ‘DRE!

The author of the book INTIMACY WITH GOD said, “we are culpable for every soul that we bring to hell.” At madaming-madami pong souls ‘yang nakaatang sa mga balikat ninyo. I’m sorry, I know I really don’t need to remind you that. Pero kasi, because “Wisdom comes only from God”, di natin namamalayan na iba na pala ang god na sinasamba natin kaya nawawala na tayo sa tamang landas. At pabobo na tayo nang pabobo, simply because we believed and were carried away by the lies and promises of the devil hidden in the materialism of this world. (see: Romans 1:21-25 and John 8:44)

I appeal to your heart and senses that if you must sell your soul, by all means, do that your self/selves. Kayo na lang po. Wag n’yo na pong dalhin at idamay pa ang ibang mga pobre at inosenteng kaluluwa. Excuse me for saying this, but I don’t believe na sa hell, the more the merrier pa rin. Lord, have mercy on Your people!

The very moment I realized that we are all brothers and sisters in one big family of God, I told my kids to call me the way they want to. In fact I had always laughed heartily every time my eldest son addressed me by my first name – because he knows I dreaded to be called so then (another reason perhaps I adopted a pen name? Maybe). It is my youngest son who’d gracefully call me by my nickname na pinapaganda pa n’ya lalo by pronouncing it sweetly in one syllable. (I especially came to like, and eventually loved, my nickname since my third child informed me what it stands for: consecrated to God, daw. Kaya I’m trying very hard to live up to it. And I always need God’s power to be able to.) Their calling me those did not last long though. They went back to calling me nanay. But I really believe in my heart it was not a case of “the tradition lived on” but a case of “respect begets respect”.

Again I say, people of God are people of courage. I wrote this not for the intention of hurting but for the purpose of awakening. True love must impose discipline through honesty. Jesus said, the Truth shall set you free. Catherine Booth’s words are inspiring to aspire: “if we are to better the future, we must disturb the present.” Here’s one more interesting quote I always read in a paper na matagal ko nang pinanggigigilang mag-react to: “evil triumphs because good men do nothing.” And I ask: “in that case, are they really good?” I really honestly think they are cowards yet. Sorry po…! To quote Leo J. Trese again: “It is easier to die for Christ than live for Him.”

As I say goodbye for now, may I leave you with what the Holy Bible said in Matthew 23:8-11 as follows: “but you, do not be called Rabbi; for one is your Teacher, the Christ, and you are all brethren. Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. And do not be called teacher; for One is your Teacher, the Christ. But he who is greatest among you shall be your SERVANT.”

My evolution tells me that “Love is beyond religion.” That our choice of religion is our personal decision based on whatever reasons we have for choosing it, and for which nobody has the right to question. My opposition to what is currently happening is not at all indicative of any intent to leave (I am a self-declared Franciscan forever). For how are we to help if we are not there anymore?

Kaakibat ng desisyon ko to tread the narrow path ay ang desisyong wag bumitaw, even when I am confronted by the harsh realities of life. Byron MacDonald said: “it is difficult to live in a culture and not be a part of the culture”(THE MORNING COMES, AND ALSO THE NIGHT). Kaya palaging the correct path is “the road less traveled” (M. Scott Peck). I must stay the course, no matter! Keep my Faith, and adopt the principle to “hate the sin, not the sinner/s.”

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Ciao, dearest friends, ciao!

(*Eunice Ji is a pen name. Check her blog: www.euniceji.blogspot.com)